Like many others, I struggle to balance anxiety and worry. One of my favorite insomnia and Shavasana activities is worrying. I worry like a champ! When I have nothing to worry about, I dig into my worrying archives. Nothing completes an hour of productive yoga practice quite like replaying an incident that happened ten years ago instead of emptying my mind and relaxing.
I’ve managed to learn my triggers and adapt. I no longer find issue politely declining social invitations that don’t interest me. I find that I feel better when I work out and eat a healthy(ish) diet. I feel calmer when my world around me is neat and organized. Mike understands this and helps so much with housekeeping and household maintenance. I need to make time for Mike and Liam. This is not a chore; rather it is something I need to be conscious of when planning our week. When something happens that might cause an anxious reaction, I’ve learned to breathe and rationalize as best I can. These tricks make being me much easier.
I’ve managed to find friends who get me. We all have our own pasts and issues and understand each other. That being said, we also push each other. During the past few years, I’ve done so many things I would never do without a gentle push: traveling solo to California for a week to facilitate for Summit, jumping into the ocean during winter, cutting my hair shorter than it’s been in years, joining the Beginner Runners Group, signing up for BoldRDash, running over the Newport Bridge. I’m thankful to people who challenge me to try new things. Many of these events have helped my anxiety and confidence.
This summer, I began writing again for the first time in years. I wasn’t sure if I was going to share my thoughts. If I decided to share, I wasn’t sure how to begin that process. Once I had some vulnerabilities on the internet, I wasn’t ready to just share the blog link on my Facebook page. While running last week, I mentioned that I had been writing about my process of becoming a runner and agreed to share my blog with my friend. The feedback was so positive, I shared it with a few more friends.
What started as a document of my journal to become a “real runner” has become one of my most powerful tools for managing my mind and quelling anxiety. Writing helps me sort out my thoughts to find positivity and growth. Writing adjusts my perspective of the world. I find myself looking at the world differently, examining daily aspects of my life for inspiration.