Itching to Run and Recover From a Less Than Perfect Run

Thursday’s run began with the best of intentions. I walked a bit further to the very start of the Boulevard to try to make it past my three-mile hurdle. My phone was fully charged. I remembered to pack a smoothie so my sugar wouldn’t drop mid-workout. I was three days out from my last weightlifting session so my muscles weren’t sore. I was ready!

And that’s when the best-laid plans fell apart. I almost immediately regretted my decision to not bring my sunglasses. I forgot my water in the car. My new headphones vibrated, making a bumping sound in my ear at every step. (I tried new ones because my iPhone earbuds fall out when I sweat.)

There were many excuses I could’ve used to quit. In spite of them, I kept going. At the turnaround, there was a beautiful butterfly sitting on a flower. Since summer is dwindling, it seemed important to stop for a picture. I paused my workout on the Fitbit app and began taking pictures. A bumble showed up and perched itself on another pedal. Obviously, this required more pictures! All I could think of was the “Bunny and Kitten” song from Kimmy Schmidt. This is unapologetically cheesy, but it made me happy. It was only when I finished snapping pictures that I realized my Fitbit hadn’t paused, factoring forty-five seconds of idleness into my pace. I know it shouldn’t matter, but since I’ve been trying to build my pace, it was a big ole’ kick in the pants.

In spite of my phone thinking I’m running slow, I decided to continue my pace and finish. This is when the blister began. I received a free pair of expensive running socks when I finished BRG. They were not supposed to go into the dryer. I dug them out of the washer for a while, letting them dry on the shelf. After accidentally going through the dryer a few times and being “fine,” I started putting them there on purpose. It caught up with my feet. I made it just over the three-mile mark. As soon as I took off my sneaker and saw the red marks trying to form a blister, I was thankful I trusted my gut and stopped. All of the little signs I decided to work through led to a clear warning to stop running.

That brings us to today. This past weekend was rainy and windy, thanks to the remnants of Hurricane Nate. During the one nicer morning, Liam and I completed the Color Run, which for us was pretty much the Color Walk. We did it and I love that he and I have something we enjoy doing together. Sunday and Monday brought hard rain and strong winds, creating less than desirable running conditions. We managed to get out for a quick walk yesterday morning, wearing our water shoes and raincoats.

Today is supposed to be warm, almost hot with temperatures in the upper 80’s. Liam will stay at the afterschool program so I can complete my four-mile run. After I pick him up, I promised a bike ride to our favorite little beach up the street from our house. I’m thankful that my schedule allows me to create time for my workouts. I’m thankful for the bits of Indian Summer gifted to New Englanders in the fall. I’m thankful that I’ve learned that it is okay to have a less than perfect run; the important think is running and making progress.

Being Forty Versus Being in My Forties

In less than one month, I will turn forty-one. For my fortieth, Mike asked what I wanted to do. I’d always said I wanted to visit the West Coast and put my feet in the Pacific Ocean. Summit training provided me that opportunity twice. Being realistic, I decided on a party in the backyard. It wasn’t fancy. It was simply a night with all of my favorite people together. Mike borrowed a bouncy house “for the kids” from a coworker. We barbequed and ate great food, talked, and laughed. I was a little nervous that people would bring up politics as it was a few days before the election; people stuck to safer topics. I loved seeing friends from different parts of my life come together and get to know each other. We sat around the fire belting out old school rap. It was perfect!

Turning forty is a milestone to be celebrated. However, turning forty-one simply means that you are in your forties. Why does this feel different? I remember being seven, the same age as my son. I also remember when my mom was forty-one. My thirties brought quite a few changes and milestones:

Buying a house
Getting married
Becoming a mother
Losing my mother

An older friend recently told me that her forties were her favorite decade. Her forties brought her confidence and health. I’m trying to decide how I feel about being in my forties. I, too, think this might be my decade. I weigh more than I have in awhile. While I wish I could lose ten pounds, I am proud of what my body can do. I’m strong and getting stronger. I can run (slowly). I’m able to perform yoga poses that previously eluded me. I am also thankful that I have the time and support to work towards bettering myself. If my thirties were spent trying to figure out who my friends are, my forties provides strong friendships. I’m blessed with my yoga crew, a strong core of mom friends, and spectacular coworkers. Mike and I have a great marriage. We have this amazing son who teaches and inspires us every day. I am really happy with where I am right now.

In college, I remember writing a list of all the things I hoped to accomplish in my adult life. When I stumbled upon it years later, I was happy to realize I had accomplished a few. I found myself back to being an active member of a church. I can appreciate Shakespeare, even asking the Reverend to read Sonnet 116 during our wedding. My toes have touched the Pacific Ocean.

Fanfare and celebration accompany of life’s biggest milestones; turning forty was no exception. In the next few weeks, I will officially become in my forties. I can honestly say that I am looking forward to this portion of my life. Life is pretty good when the only thing I can think that I really want is a cup warmer for school because I am constantly getting caught up in things and letting my tea get cold. I love this simplicity. I am hopeful that my forties will be the start of my favorite decades.

Just a 5K Runner?

One of the reasons I’ve strayed from running in the past involves the lack of desire to accomplish new feats. The first time I ran a ten-minute mile, I had no desire to go for a nine-minute mile. As I get more confident in my running, I’ve been asked if I’ve considered upping my distance and signing up for a ten miler or half marathon. I’ve thought about me, maybe if just so I can put a cool “13.1” sticker on the back of my Subaru. Truth be told, I have more desire to have the bragging rights about running a half than I do about the actual act of running one.

October brings three races for me. The first is the Color Run. Liam and I did it the first year it came to Providence. Four years later, he still asks to do another one. I refused to spend the full $44.99 each for us to participate. (Seriously, I could take him to Edaville for the day and only spend $54.) When the Color Run offered $19.99 tickets, I signed us up. I remember talking to my friend after completing it for the first time; we made a goal that we would train and be able to run it the following year. We made the goal for the sake of making it, knowing full-well that we would not train for this. Even though Liam and I will walk most of it, I am proud to know that I could run it. I love seeing progress. Also, Mike and Liam have so many common interests (Legos, airplanes, etc).

My next race it the Jamestown Bridge Run. This is a four-mile race. I keep saying that I am going to get around to running four miles before the race, but I always stop just after three. Since it is three weeks away, I need to get on this. Since it’s a bridge, the beginning of the race involves running uphill. I’ve been told that there are so many people participating that it is difficult to run around the walkers. I am okay with this. I’ve always been intrigued by this race and am beyond thankful that a few friends and I are doing this one. Since signing up for the race, I’ve driven over the bridge a few times, wondering what possessed me to think this was a good idea. I know I will complete the race, but I’m not sure this one become one I do each year.

The Monster Dash is the following weekend. I’m really looking forward to this one. A lot of the BRG folks attend. I’m still deciding whether or not to wear a costume. I have my Pickachu costume that I wore for this year’s plunge . I could easily run in this one. Because I am not a fast runner, I wonder how much attention I want to put on myself.

I was not planning to run three races next month. I’m glad my schedule and budget allowed it. For now, I am perfectly happy being a 5K runner. I am proud that my training allows me to complete the race non-stop. I’m proud that I was able to complete my first race within my forty minute goal. I’m working on completing them faster and wondering if the upcoming cooler weather will help in these goals. I still challenge myself by trying to run fast and playing with intervals. My runs fit into my schedule and leave me feeling accomplished. The future may bring a desire for longer distances. For now, this will be enough.

Six Reasons Yesterday’s Run Was Great (And Three Reasons it Was Terrible)

For the first time in over a week, I made it out for a run on the Boulevard. Last week, I was still recovering from Boldrdash and only made it two miles. Every step strained my hamstrings. But I was there and committed to two miles.

Because my Mindfulness class talks a lot about perspective and active seeing, I intentionally chose to find twice as many positives as negatives.

Six Reasons it Was Great:

The weather was perfect! It wasn’t too warm or cool. It was cloudy enough that I didn’t need my sunglasses.
It is a beautiful time of year! We’re at the sweet spot of New England between summer and fall. Flowers are still blooming, but the leaves are starting to change color.
I met my preset goal. I wanted to pace in the 12’s. 12:59 pace is in the 12’s!
I felt so much better after! Yesterday’s session gave me much-needed time to think and clear my head.
Three miles no longer feels like a daunting task. I can do it pretty easily. There were a few times that my legs tired, but I easily convinced myself that I could keep going.
I am able to run. This may seem overly simple, but too many people are physically unable to run or walk for various reasons. I am thankful that my body is healthy enough to allow me to run and workout.

Three Reasons is Was Terrible

Allergies. This is a big one. Most of my adult life consists of a vicious cycle of me taking allergy meds until they work, assuming I no longer need them and not taking them, then suffering a few days later. My eyes may have loved the summer/fall beauty, but my sinuses were not impressed.
I’m still not as fast as I’d like to be. I made a lot of progress early on. I’m not sure why I’m not getting any faster. I think it may be a mental block; I slow down too quickly. I need to find an app to track intervals that is also Spotify friendly.
I still can’t make it much further than three miles. When I start BRG, the goal was to run a 5K. I’ve done that many times now. At the beginning of each run, I make myself promise to get over the three-mile hump, then stop when I reach that distance. I have a four-mile race coming up; I want to run that distance a few times before doing it in a crowd.

Guilty Pleasures, I Mean Running Motivations

One of the hardest parts of running was going out solo. I loved BRG for the camaraderie, chatter, and support. Being a bit competitive, I also needed to know that I would keep up with the others. Knowing that we were going to do our first fifteen-minute interval as a group made me make sure I was ready to do it in with the group. When I am in weight training classes, I have to be able to use heavier weights. (I know that no one else cares; this is totally a me issue.)

Running on my own each Saturday was a mental challenge. When I first ventured out, I would run around the blocks near my house, creating an escape plan if I tired or wimped out and needed to head home. Within a few weeks, I was making myself commit to a three-mile loop. First starting out, it was hard to be alone with my thoughts:

“What made you think you were a runner?”

“Can you feel your belly jiggling when you run? Why bother doing this?”

“You’ve tried to be a runner in the past and failed. What makes this time different?”

Once I got going, I was okay and managed to find a more positive thought process.

“I’m going to do a full three miles, even if I need to go past the entrance and backtrack before I leave.”

“I’m going to do three miles in 38 minutes.”

At some point during my run, I think something out of my mind: “I should train for a half marathon. You could totally do it!”

There are two things that help me change my negative thoughts while running: cheesy music and Pokemon Go. Yes, I did mean to write that. I consider myself a bit of a music snob; Mike jokes that I only like bands that no one else knows. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I can definitely hold my own in a conversation about most music genres. When I am running lately, I usually listen to one of the following:

Cheesy 90’s pop music (think Brittney, NSYNC, and the Backstreet Boys)

Obscene 90’s gangsta rap

They get me through my runs. The heart wants what the heart runs. Hamilton gets into the mix a lot, but I’ve been listening to it for so long now that I need new tunes. Hamilton is still my go-to for motivation. As I run down a busy street listening to my cheesy pop music, I pay even closer attention to others around me, fearful that I will be hit by car listening to “Backstreet’s Back,” revealing my secret to the outside world.

Pokemon Go? Ugh, this one is embarrassing. We take a lot of walks as a family. When Outtie was with us, we took two twenty minute walks daily. We go hiking and do a fair amount of Geo-caching. When I finally gave in to the Pokemon Go craze, Mike and I instantly became competitive. Playing while running provides a distraction. I can hatch an egg and try to catch new Pokemon. I am embarrassed admitting that the game gets me through runs, but it totally does.

BGR often reminds us, “If you run, you are a runner.” I guess I can add, “Even if you do embarrassing things while running, you are a runner.”

Intervals vs Non-stop

In spite of my best-laid plans to work out more and prepare healthy meals this summer, it didn’t happen. It never does. Summer is a blur of day trips, playing, and grilling. I find I am actually much healthier during the school year, a time in which every minute is at a premium and everything is planned. Last week, I actually lost two of the six pounds I gained this summer. I managed three three mile runs, two yoga classes, and a weights class. I joined the Insta-Pot cult and made healthy meals. That old advice “If you want to make sure something gets done, give it to a busy person,” radiates through me. With a turn of the calendar, I am back to being the mom and teacher who plans to the minute and gets stuff done.

I’m getting over my fear and dread of solo runs and starting to find sweetness in the solitude of being on the path with my music and my thoughts. Saturday, I went to the local park that offers a three-mile loop. It is a little hilly, and its hills are deceptively long, sneaking through slight inclines and curves. My goals were to get my time out of thirteen-minute pace and to again run without stopping. (Did I mention that I am not fast?) I slowed down a few times, remembering my coaches words that it is okay to run “barely faster than you walk.” Pushing myself, my overall pace was 12:35, only five seconds slower than my Gaspee pace at the end of my training. I left the park ecstatic!

Monday, I met up with my BRG crew leading the next session. We ran the familiar boulevard using an interval plan. Maybe I was warmed up at the end of the day and still enjoying the benefits of an earlier yoga class. Maybe it was the flatter path of dirt instead of paved concrete. I was able to pace 12:29, my fasted three-mile pace ever!

I truly believe that I was able to push myself because of the intervals. When my goal is to go nonstop, I don’t push myself for fear that I will burn out. Knowing that I had a break coming up, even if only thirty seconds, let me push myself. I find myself thinking about how to transfer this to other aspects of my life. Maybe we push ourselves further if we know we are allowed to take breaks, rest, and recover. This an important lesson for everyday life. It is also important to remember for my students and my son. When we are getting frustrated, tired, and on the verge of burnout, it is okay to rest and recover.

I Made My Own Running Buddy!

My mom was never a healthy person. This lead to her leaving this earth far earlier than she should have, at the age of 58. Liam was only four months old when she died. One of the lessons I took from her death and the void is left behind is the need to me to be healthy. I need to do everything I can to live longer than my own mother.

Diet and exercise are my biggest struggles. My “all or nothing” mentality is my other enemy. Four years ago, I lost my baby weight, almost getting down to my wedding weight. I did this by running on our treadmill three to four times a week and counting every calorie, keeping myself at about 1,200 calories daily. Yes, I measured out two tablespoons of hummus and counted forty Goldfish Crackers. This wasn’t sustainable, and the weight crept back. Over the past few years, I have made great strides to get out of my comfort zone, both personally and professionally.

Over the past few years, I have made great strides to get out of my comfort zone, both personally and professionally. My big recent leap is joining BRG. When it finished, we made the decision to participate in weekly runs at the store. I knew I needed more to maintain the progress I worked hard to achieve. I tried running on my own, but it is difficult during the summer when Liam and I are home all day. We tried going out with Liam on his bike while I ran along. He was too fast, and I am too slow.

Liam is obsessed with his Ninja Skills classes. We decided to sign up for a Color Run obstacle race. He’s walked 5Ks with my husband and me. We frequently hike and go for long walks. I knew I needed to get him ready for the three miles of running. We headed to the Rocky Point Walking Path and decided to do the path in walk/jog intervals. We’ve done it a few times. He loves it!

Race day came. While I was thankful for a cooler day, it down poured and stormed, forcing the path to be evacuated. We were able to complete about a third of the race. Liam ran the entire way. While his self-doubt needed to be addressed a few times, he tried every obstacle we encountered.

I’ve always known I wanted to be a mother. Never could I imagine that my child would become my workout buddy. We practice yoga, run, and climb on playgrounds together. I am so thankful that I am instilling a love of activity in him. Hopefully, this love will carry him through adulthood.

My Hamilton Experience

After months of recommendations, I finally checked out the Hamilton soundtrack. I remember the first time I listened to it during April vacation, waiting for our basement furniture to be delivered. Even though it was background music as I completed a bunch of other tasks, I kept stopping to check the names of songs and listen to lyrics more closely. Before long, I was listening to Hamilton while jogging on the treadmill, slowing my pace (even more than usual) to repeat verses or to look up the authenticity of facts. (It turns out the Martha Washington did name a cat after him!) I continued to listen to Hamilton during my “runs,” pushing myself to maintain pace for an entire song.

Fast forward a few months. I decided to work as a facilitator for a week in California, teaching a new cohort a learning platform my school adopted the previous school year. I was nervous for numerous reasons. I was going to be away from my family and on the other side of the country by myself. I was nervous about teaching other teachers. (Impostor syndrome was alive and well that week.) Each night, after teaching a group of teachers and administrators all day, I would head over to the walking path across the street from my hotel and try my best to run. Hamilton was my soundtrack. Each night, while setting goals to run to certain landmarks, I memorized the lyrics to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s play. While I should’ve taken this time to explore San Francisco and neighboring Burlingame, I instead spent my evenings walking along the bay and watching airplanes. (My favorite path here overlooks Narragansett Bay and is about a mile from the airport. Yes, I flew 3,000 miles to do exactly what I do at home.)

Hamilton represented a time in which I truly stepped out of my comfort zone, both personally and professionally. When I hear certain lyrics, I can remember exactly where I was on the running path when I understood them for the first time. I remember singing the lyrics loudly, not caring who heard me because I was far away from everyone I knew.

The following spring, I joined the Beginner’s Running Group. Again, I was out of my comfort zone. By this time, the Hamilton Mixtape was released. I listened to it throughout my training, taking solace during those first four-minute intervals that
“I only had to run through one song.” Looking back, I can see my progress. As someone who can run for three miles without stopping, I love remembering when four minutes intimidated me. I listened to the Mixtape during the final 5k and met my goal time.

Again, Hamilton got me through a time in which I stepped out of my comfort zone. It got me through two times in my life in which I was struggling to do something to better myself. With my husband’s blessing, I jumped at the opportunity to purchase tickets. (It was a lot of money to spend without at least a heads up.) I had tickets to a matinee almost a year away. We reserved train tickets to make it easier to get to the city without worrying about traffic and parking.

The day finally arrived! We had to be at the train station before seven. Because we had a few hours before the show, we visited the Empire State Building. My husband had never been to the top. It was fun to be touristy. The view from the top was amazing!

Finally, it was time for the show. We had to wait outside in the drizzling rain while I worried that something would go wrong. Did I mention we had third-row seats? The tickets gods were truly watching over me! The show was better than I could have imagined. Usually at a show, either a theatrical or concert show, I wish for the moment for the show to me a memory. Hamilton was different; it flew by and I was so sad when it was over.

For the past week, my husband and I will stop conversations for random Hamilton observations:”Aaron Burr started off a little stiff, but I warmed up to him.”

“Aaron Burr started off a little stiff, but I warmed up to him.”

“I liked this George Washington better than the original. He played it darker.”

“Did you notice that Lafayette lost his French accent a few times when he was rapping? It must be so difficult to do both characters.”

“It’s funny that Hamilton had a beard here. The play mentions that he couldn’t grow facial hair.”

“One of the ensemble players kept staring me down while dancing. It took a few times before I realized I was his driste.”

These interruptions are completely acceptable in any conversation.

It was a long, but amazing day. I still can’t believe I was able to watch this play that has been the soundtrack to me changing my life in many ways. This past year reminds me that I can change things that need to be changed. For anything major to change, I need to step outside of my comfort zone. I need to take risks and challenge myself.